It took a while for him to remember where he was. Her house was sparsely furnished, no televisions, no stereo. He stretched his arms out, noticing his mountain of a stomach beneath the sheets. He slowly sat up, the blankets sticking between the rolls of fat. He yawned and threw the blankets away from himself, exposing his immense orange and yellow stomach. He started down at his fat midsection, remembering last night. Sheila had spent quite a bit of time rubbing his soft tummy. He poked his clawed fingers into either side of his squishy gut, remembering the experience. He had been rather surprised when she started it, and was even more shocked to find that he liked it. Bowser smelled something coming from the kitchen, and he took his steamy blubber off the bed. He grabbed her pink bathrobe, having to tie an extra tight knot to keep his gut inside the thin cloth. Two pouches of soft flesh overlapped the belt. He pretended not to notice. Sheila was wearing an apron he had given her many years before. He didn't remember her as an early riser. She had changed. She gave him a soft smile, pouring two cups of coffee and carrying them to the living room. He followed her, flopping down next to her on the sofa and running his fingers through her thick black off-the-shoulder hair. "Introduce me to your new friend." Sheila said playfully, poking his fat stomach. "I'm not as young as I used to be. I could try to diet " Bowser felt a bit sheepish, she had been great last night, but the only new things he had brought to the bed was the extra inches around his midsection and a second chin. "Don't bother. You are a much better cuddler than you were back then. You will have to let me be on top, however. That belly just might be one of the seven wonders of the world." As she spoke, she undid her belt from around his waist, his tummy sprung outward, and he was obviously relieved t have that burden lifted. She stuck her hand inside the robe and gently began to rub his massive belly. He turned to her face, and their lips locked . . . A loud ding sounded from the kitchen, and Sheila leapt from their fondling to check the oven. Bowser rolled his eyes and sipped his coffee, cringing as he did so. He had also forgotten how terrible her coffee was. Leaving the coffee on the end table by the couch, he went into the kitchen. She had just shoved something into the oven. "Sorry, it's not ready yet." "Sheila?" "Hmm?" "Why did you do it?" She turned away from him. "I felt . . . alone. You were always so busy. You had to politick all the time, but you always had time for the kids. I felt like a fifth wheel, and I got the impression you just weren't interested. You seemed to shy away from me all the time, even when we were young." Bowser nodded. He always did feel rather restrained around people. Could he have made her feel isolated? It was certainly possible. Just then he remembered what that wonderful smell was. "Hey, we had sex and you didn't even give me a whole date. Promise me we will have a real . . ." Her words were a thousand miles away. He remembered that smell. Papa- come down. We are having your favorite. He remembered knocking on the chamber door, finding it shut tight. He remembered the smell of the cinnamon rolls as the kitchen staff put them on the table. He remembered the waiting much longer than he normally did for his father to come down. Papa, if you don't hurry, they will get cold. The door creaked as he pushed on it . . . "Bowser." Sheila snapped him back into the present with her cool hand on his cheek. Sweat was pouring down his face, his bright orange eyebrows were soaked. "What's wrong, you look like you've seen a ghost?" "I, I just remembered, I have something I need to do this morning." He stammered. "Okay, but are you sure you are okay?" "Yeah, I just . . . I'm late." He turned to leave. "Bowser?" said the green turtle-dragon. "What?" he said, his breathing fast and irregular. "Can I have my robe back before you leave?" The bar was dark and smelled of cheap beer. He stood by the bar for a minute, watching all of the strange beings. Then he turned to the bartender, a very familiar- looking short blue hedgehog. "I'll take an Asahi." The hedgehog grabbed a bottle from beneath the counter and removed the top without looking at him. "Hey, aren't you . . ." He made eye contact, giving the most malice filled deadly look Bowser had ever seen in his life. He slammed the beer down on the counter and turned away. Bowser cringed and took his beer to the very back booth, as she had described in her letter. He was still too fat to get into a booth comfortably, but she had been very specific about where to meet him. He gritted his teeth and squeezed in, his big tummy overlapping the table by several inches. His shell once again pressed deeply into the fat on his back. Soon his waitress came. She was a pretty Asian humanoid wearing a strange light blue outfit. Her black hair was tied into a bra like headdress. "What's with the bartender?" He asked her. She didn't look up from her pad. "He's still bitter about Sega. They sold out to Nintendo, and now he isn't the mascot." "And what happened to you?" Bowser was feeling rather cheeky this night. "I was pretty cool, then along came that ridiculous Killer Instinct." Chun Li said Killer Instinct with an evil mimicking tone. "Not much chance for fame after that, huh?" She blew upward, letting her bangs fly. "I was actually up for a Pepsi commercial a while back, but it didn't go through." "I'm sorry." "Don't be, it's not your fault, unless you are that job-stealing Eurodyke bitch Lara Croft. What can I get you to eat?" "Just some mozzarella sticks. Does that come with red sauce?" "Sure does." "A double order, then." Chun Li wrote his order on her pad without smiling. He noticed the front door open as she did so, and a tall, cloaked figure entered. Just by the way she moved, everyone knew not to take a second look. Chun Li went back to the kitchen, and the figure sat across from Bowser. She looked exactly as she had when the first met. It was a dark and stormy night, straight out of a children's Halloween tale. Mouser had told him that an odd couple had wished to speak with him outside his castle in the rain. They were two figures. One was a tall dark-skinned woman with the whitest hair he had ever seen, the other was a skinny little girl no older than ten. The girl stood with a white horse. The ears on both travelers were sharply pointed. On the saddle was a royal crest he had never seen before but could not possibly mistake for anything else. The dark skinned woman spoke. "I am Impa, and my companion is the Princess Zelda of Hyrule. We are fleeing murderers in our kingdom, and we humbly ask your highness for asylum." As she finished speaking, she dropped to one knee and bowed her head. To this day, he did not know why they had come to him. The Hylians were a xenophobic race that did not welcome outsiders. He had never met any of them, all he knew were the fables that came out of that land, and the earthlings had latched on to them, exploiting their stories for the entertainment of children. He had granted them asylum, and directed them to places where they could stay unhindered. He offered an abandoned hunting lodge his father had used once, but few knew of its location and none saw fit to actually seek it out. He had no idea how long they had stayed there. All he knew were the rumors years later of the Princess Zelda's return to Hyrule. As he sat staring into her purple eyes again, he wondered how old she was. Her skin was perfectly smooth, but her eyes told of years of experience. He couldn't possibly have guessed her age within ten years. She was Sheikah, the most mysterious of all the races of Hyrule. "How have you been, Impa?" "Do not waste words with me, your highness." He could tell she hated to speak unnecessarily. "I need a favor from your mistress." Impa said nothing, just continued to stare at him. "I need to speak to the dead." She quit arching her white eyebrows for a moment. "Who?" "My father. Can the lady in question do me this favor?" "She expected no less when she received your letter." "Can she do it?" "Yes." "Will she?" "Yes. My mistress owes you much." "I told you when we first met I would claim no debt against you. I ask this because I need it, and I think she will do it for a person in need sooner than a debtor. She is free to decline if she wishes." "You speak wisely, your highness. My mistress is prepared to grant your request. However, you must come with me tonight." "I thought as much." "I will take my leave now. After I am gone, finish your meal. When you do, exit this place and continue a block eastward. I will meet you behind the building on your left and lead you to her." She did not wait for him to respond, just rose from the booth and exited without looking back. Something about her made him feel like he needed to speak like a king. Chun Li soon returned with his fried cheese. She set them in front of him. "Another beer?" "Sure. Say, didn't the earthlings make a movie about you?" She rolled her eyes. "Who played you in their movie?" "Dennis Hopper. You?" "Ming-Na" "Who is that?" "Exactly." The cave was freezing cold, but neither of the women seemed to notice. The walls were covered with the most beautiful shimmering ice, casting distorted reflections of Bowser's very tubby stature all over the room. The Princess had her back to him. Her reflection revealed that she stood with her eyes closed. The image on the ice in front of her showed him to be even bigger, rounder, and fatter than he actually was, but hers was even smaller and frailer, even though they were both on the same distorted plane of ice. But he knew better than to trust her looks. She had spent seven years in exile with a Sheikah, he had no doubt that she knew her way around a knife and could easily kill anyone who threatened her. She turned around and opened her eyes. Her huge blue irises regarded him for some time, and he sheepishly looked away. It had been very embarrassing when Impa had shown him in. fewA feet from the opening, he had found that he was much too plump to get through the narrowest part of the passage very easily. It had taken a few seconds of pushing his great bulging stomach in with both hands to finally get through. She took a few slow steps towards him. He heard not a single footfall from her. "Impa tells me you wish to speak to your father." "This is true." "It will be difficult." "If you do not feel that you can . . ." "Not for me." She interrupted. It had been quite a while since anyone could render him speechless. He was a king, used to dealing with the sharp tongues of politicians in his realm. Zelda and Impa were different, they had a no-nonsense vibe, even with the way they spoke. He wished he could be more like them, speak with certainty, and be dignified as the words rolled off of his tongue. "Kneel down." She told him. He bent down on one knee, his huge gut falling over his angled limb. "Close your eyes." He felt her hands come up to his face, hr thumbs touching his eyelids. He felt her nails brush against his eyebrows. And suddenly, her touch was gone. He reflexively opened his eyes. He wasn't in the ice cave anymore. He was at the foot of the red-carpeted stairs, the sounds of the castle behind him. The stairs were spiraling around the central tower, at the top was the most grand room in the entire nation- his father's bedroom. Breakfast was on the great table; the staff was talking in hushed voices. He caught his reflection in a candlestick as he climbed the long stairs. He was a youth again; his hair grown for years to form large clumped locks down his back, falling between his still-too-small green shell and his skin. His green face was covered by his bangs. He was a bit pudgy even back then. He was about halfway up the stairs now, and he called out. "Papa, come down- we are having your favorite." There was no response. He kept climbing, and he knew in the back of his mind what he would find when he got there. Finally, he could see the great wooden door, nearly black, with beautiful gothic carvings. The wood had been treated and any who saw it would swear it was stone. He knocked on it loudly. "Papa, if you don't hurry, they will get cold." He pushed on the heavy door, and it creaked as it opened. "Papa?" he called into the extravagant bedroom. He had known this day would come for months. He had seen the droplets of blood after his father had coughed into his handkerchief. On days like that, he would steal his father's linen from the laundry and scrub them with bleach until not a spot of red remained, and return them the same night. In the morning his father would look at them and they could both pretend they had always been clean. "Papa." He knew what he would see. Morton Koopa was just sleeping in, that was all. His eyes were closed, not tightly, like he always did. He knew it but didn't believe it. "Papa, get up already!" he said forcefully. And he did. It scared Bowser half to death. He took a step back and nearly fell on his ass. He was lucky he didn't fall, as in that instant he had reverted back to his older, fatter self. He stood now staring as his father threw the blankets off of himself and stood. His father was a bit shorter than he was now. He no longer looked sick; he was no longer so thin his ribs showed. He looked so healthy, so full of life. "Hello Bowser." Bowser didn't blink. He just continued staring at him. Not believing what he was seeing. "How have you been, son?" "You son of a bitch." His father arched his eyebrows. "You despicable bastard. How could you do this to me? How could you leave me when I needed you most? Why didn't you get some treatment? Why didn't you DO anything?" His father turned his back to him. "You don't remember your mother, do you?" "What does she have to do with this?" "You mother wasn't killed in an accident, Bowser." A film of tears formed on Bowser's eyes. He still didn't blink. "Your mother had cancer, Bowser. She did the works to try and get rid of it. She was strong, but it still beat her. For the last year of her life, she was bedridden. I saw her deteriorate every day. You were too young to remember. She wanted nothing more than to survive and see you mature. It consumed her, and it tore her up when she finally realized she wasn't going to. I saw my wife die that way, Bowser. I was not going to go out like that. When the doctor found the tumor, it was already too late. You were just getting old enough to run things around here. You were always smarter than me, better at politicking, better at dealing with things than I was. You made a much better king than I ever did. I wanted to spend my last months with you, still being able to go camping with you, to be able to enjoy what was left of my life. I couldn't let you go through what I went through." All the years he had been king, he had never thought his father had him in mind when he made his decision. He had thought he was just sick of being king. He had assumed his father simply gave up caring. All those years he had carried this weight around with him. Bowser flopped down on the chair beside the bed; his fat stomach began to quiver as he began crying. "I can't do this, Papa, its too hard. People don't trust me. I am just an ugly king and I . . ." 'Stop it." Bowser looked up at Morton, who had silently come over to sit on the bed. "You are not incompetant. You are smart, and you care about your people, your children, your wife." Bowser looked away at the word wife. "You are still afraid of her, aren't you?" Bowser nodded. "Not because of the affair." "No." "You were afraid that she would leave you, like I did. You were afraid she would abandon you to your own devices." "She did." "No, Bowser, she didn't, and you know it. She never did stop loving you, but you were afraid to get close to her. You were always so hard on yourself, she never was. You've spent many years in a slump. It is time you came out. Your people need you, your children need you, your wife needs you. You are still afraid that they will all leave you behind. They wouldn't." "How do you know all this?" "Don't ask that question, Bowser, you know I can't answer that." Morton threw his arms around his son. Bowser returned the hug, sobbing into his father's shoulder. "I need you, Papa." He said between sobs. His breathing was very fast, and his stomach quickly bulged in and out with each breath. "No, Bowser, you don't. You need to be loved. And if you would open up, you would realize that you are." Something changed. It was instant, and he felt his father's shape alter. His scales disappeared, replaced by silk. His arms became thin and pale. Bowser gasped when he realized what happened. He was standing back in the ice cave, and it was Zelda who was holding him. He backed away. "Take me back." She shook her head. "I'm sorry. It does not work that way." He was still breathing hard, still had tears streaming down his round cheeks. "Did you . . . see everything?" "Yes." Bowser turned his head away from her. Impa came up behind him, while Zelda turned and walked towards the entrance. "Come with me, your highness." Impa said. "I will show you another way out that will better accommodate your-" She cast a withering gaze at his round gut "-stature." Bowser was too crushed to respond. He followed her out in a daze, thinking about the short time he had with his father and how once again, it had been cut short before he was ready. Sheila rushed to the door. She knew it was Bowser. They hadn't spoken in a few days, and she was worried she had scared him off. She expected that he would want to end things. And she didn't deserve another chance. She was surprised, however when she found him holding a bouquet of flowers for her. They were white, here favorite color. "Wow, what's the occasion?" "There is something I never said to you." This kind of revelation was not like him. "I never did say I was sorry." It was the last thing she expected. "I love you, and I want to make it work this time." Now it was her turn to shed tears. She threw her arms around his neck, crushing the roses between them. She kissed him full on his lips, feeling his sharp teeth beneath his skin. "I want you to come with me tonight?" "Where?" "It's a surprise." It wasn't a large building, and there were no signs advertising what it was. There was just the loud vibrations reverberating outward into the night. The door was guarded by a very large bear- an astonishing figure, so fat he would have trouble getting through the very door he guarded. He cast a withering gaze at Bowser and Sheila. Bowser always thought he was very imposing himself, but he was nothing compared to the bear. They didn't wait long. Soon Sheila found whoever she was looking for. She waved to a pair of kangaroos who were approaching. "Hello, Sheila." "Rooby, darling , how have you been?" "The same. And you, I see you finally decided to let me meet your newest squeeze." Bowser extended his hand. "I am Bowser. Pleased to meet you." Rooby gave him a sassy look as she offered her hand to be kissed. He was very polite as he felt her soft hand in his. Her fur was completely white, not a dot of color anywhere on her. She smiled as he returned her hand. "How could I not know that handsome face?" Him? Handsome? "Bowser, this is Roofus, with two o's. " Bowser finally cast his gaze on the other roo she came with. He was almost completely gray, except for his chest and stomach, which was a shade short of white. His nose and mouth was a darker gray, and he had round cheeks. But it was his carriage that got Bowser's attention. The marsupial easily weighed over 300 pounds, his stomach protruded greatly in front of him. He had a very boyish smile, and his gigantic gut jiggled as he moved. He shook hands and exchanged pleasantries with Roofus while Sheila and Rooby stepped to the side to talk. Bowser pretended he couldn't hear. "He IS a big one." "Yes, and you were right. It's much better." "I'm always right. I've been telling you all this time, the fatter they are, the better they are. Besides, do you really want someone who isn't so soft and cuddly?" Bowser couldn't believe his ears. Roofus's cheeks blushed as they both heard what was being said. Something inside him told him that they were supposed to overhear. The females rejoined them a second later. Rooby turned to the bouncer. "They are with us." The tubby bear nodded his head and opened the steel door for them. Bowser found himself in a small nightclub. He could see the dance floor out of the corner of his eye, but Rooby was leading them towards the bar. The barstool were very odd, seeming larger than most of the ones he had seen before. There were large backrests on each of them. Roofus took a seat, his rolls of fat spilling over the backrest. "You two wait here, we are going to have some girl talk in the bathroom." "What are you going to talk about?" His question was directed at Sheila, but it was Rooby who answered. "You, silly." She touched his nose as she spoke. Both of them headed off in another direction. Bowser swiveled his chair towards the bar. The bartender noticed them and approached. "Hello Roofus. The usual?" He was a chubby skunk, maybe 5'10". "Make it two, I've brought a new friend. The fat skunk nodded in Bowser's direction. "Not every day we get a celebrity in here." He walked off to get whatever the usual was. Roofus turned his chair to Bowser. "Quite a tummy you got there." Bowser arched his eyebrows. "I think yours is a bit bigger." Roofus smiled, patting his stomach fondly. "Don't worry, you'll get here before long." Bowser felt odd. What kind of furs were they? The bartender returned with two large cups of something thick and light brown. Bowser took a sip, surprised at how sweet it was. "What on earth is this?" "One-of-a-kind milkshake. Plenty of chocolate, lots of ice cream, and cream used instead of milk. Plus a shot of bourbon." It was the most heavenly thing he had ever tasted in his life. Roofus seemed intent on finishing it as quickly as possible. Bowser tried to keep up. Before long, the females returned from the bathroom. "Come on." Sheila said. "Where are we going?" "The member's only room." Rooby said, giving him a sly look. At the back of the club, there was a small room, again guarded by another bouncer. He let them by unchallenged. The room was furnished lavishly. There were very comfortable looking sofas and chairs packed tightly together. A large round table sat in the center of the room. But against the back wall was a long table, and on it was every savory food Bowser could imagine. Huge pizzas with very generous toppings of cheeses and meats, no veggies. Half a dozen pies and cakes. Chicken wings, all fried, huge vats of ice cream, and enough sweets to give an entire third world country diabetes. On one of the couches there sat two mice. The male was a very plump one, his fur completely egg white. On his lap sat another mouse, and she was completely black- furred. She sat facing him, with a plate in her hand. She held a forkful of blackberry pie to the white mouse's lips, and he eagerly took the morsel. "Nila!" The female mouse leaned her head all the way back, looking at the four of them upside down. "Rooby, dear, who are the new friends?" "This is Sheila, and if you don't know who her boyfriend is, I don't want to know you." Bowser stepped out from behind Roofus. "Wow, the notorious Bowser. What brings you to our humble establishment?" asked the fat mouse. "Glenn, shut up and eat." Nila said forcefully, bringing her head back to its natural angle and continuing to feed her boyfriend. Sheila guided Bowser to one of the chairs. Rooby was more forceful with Roofus, she lead him by the hand and pushed him down into his seat. "Stay here." Sheila whispered in his ear. Roofus sat across from Bowser. Both of the females got up and walked to the table covered with food. Roofus shot Bowser a sly look and flicked his tongue against his bottom lip. In a minute they both returned with trays loaded with food. Sheila sat on Bowser's lap, facing him, just like Nila was doing with Glenn. Roofus was far too fat for his tummy to share his lap with Rooby, so she was forced to sit at Roofus's side. Sheila took her plate and began popping food into Bowser's mouth. It was delicious. For a few minutes, they continued. Every few bites, Sheila would kiss him deeply. He enjoyed it immensely, but he still felt strange. "Sheila?" he whispered. Both Nila and Rooby were busy kissing their partners, they couldn't have heard him. "What's the matter, hun? I know you love to eat." She poked his gigantic gut with her fingers, watching his fat spill over them. "I just don't if I feel comfortable doing this in front of other people." "Bowser, sweetie, you need to loosen up. These are friends, they are not here to judge you. They will not gage your worth on what you have accomplished. We are here to have fun, so let go and enjoy yourself." Bowser pondered her words as she shoveled more and more food into his maw. Relax and let go, something e had never been able to do easily. For nearly an hour, the females fed their respective partners. Bowser was the first to say he was full. In fact, he was more than full. His stomach felt stretched to the very limit. "Aww, look at the newbie." Glenn said when he heard Bowser pronounce that he was stuffed. "They are so cute when they are beginners." Rooby chimed in. "Mmph" Roofus said, as bits of strawberry shortcake flew from his mouth. "No hun, he's not as cute as you are." Rooby fished something out of her pouch and tossed it to Sheila. "Drink this," she said to Bowser, handing him a tiny vial of something pink. "What is this?" "It's a potion. It will numb you stomach, so that you won't feel so much like a sausage. And it will speed up your metabolism, so that you will be hungry again before long." "Are you trying to make me fatter?" "Absolutely." Let go. Have fun. He strengthened his resolve and downed it in one. "I didn't promise it would taste like mother's milk." Sheila said, noticing him grimace. "Its going to take an hour or two to work." It was another hour before Glenn and Roofus had both stuffed themselves, and they both took the potion. The six of them turned their attention to each other, swapping stories and telling jokes. Bowser actually found himself having fun. The others didn't want anything from him. They respected him as a being, not a monarch. All the time they could hear music playing in the club. Suddenly, Nila and Rooby leapt up as a new song started. "It's our song! Let's go dance, butterball." Nila said, grabbing Glenn's paw and dragging him out of the room. Roofus and Rooby quickly followed. Sheila looked at Bowser. "Shall we?" Bowser would ordinarily not have wanted to, but he suddenly realized that he didn't feel stuffed any more, even though he knew he should. "Yes, let's. I am warning you, though, I don't know how good of a dancer I am." "Hey, pretty much everyone in here needs to take frequent breaks. These patrons are not exactly the most athletic." "So I this is a club for the corpulent, I take it." "Yup. I knew you would like it here. Come on, let's dance." They exited the room and went to the dance floor. He heard the music playing, and at first he couldn't believe what he was hearing. I like big guts and I cannot lie . . . They began to dance, and Bowser felt good. He didn't feel like a king of a dying realm. He didn't feel like the abandoned son. He didn't feel like an overworked father. He felt sexy. He felt accepted. He felt alive. Oh yeah- Roofus and Rooby Copyright Aldi Glenn, Nila, Morton, and Sheila Copyright Knate Mason Bowser, Mouser, Impa, Zelda, Chun Li, Sonic, Lara Crof,t Killer Instinct, and Hyrule are all copyright someone or other.