Something About Pie
By Prof B
Hunnydew © 2006
If only eating was a sporting event, then we could have
Okay this is my first story of a fat furry theme, and it comes with some
The pictures are in the galley (I hope) and I have put picture marker in the
text to show where the story they would be. This is PG or PG-13 rating.
Do e-mail me, if I am wrong about something or another, or I need to edit
this or that. Or just send nice comment to Pbhunnydew@yahoo.com
Welcome Glutton fans to Arlene’s Hot Springs Resort’s First Annual’s Pie
I’m Howard Courge, and we are in the Grand Hall during the Halloween/Fall
festival, ready to watch these hungry furs test their bellies in this
gut-busting eating completition
Oh, this is not a test for the thin minded or your general
over-eater. Each contestant must
eat 60 pies to make it to the final rounds, and these are not your average pies
either but the 12 inch large pies.
Each contestant can plan which of the 6 different favors of pies they
will eat first. But all must be eat
the same favors and amount sooner or later. Remember, there is not time limit this
round but you can’t rest longer than 5 minutes between pies or have more than 3
rest periods. Standard rules on
barfing still apply. The rules for
the final rounds will be explained if we do not have a winner.
Now, we do want to welcome our Celebrity Contestants:
Honey Woodson plays the Daisy Duke as all you, Dukes of Grazard fans
know. Miss Honey weight in at
scrawny 130 pounds at height 5’ 9” Golden brown bear. Miss Honey Woodson said that despite her
TV career, she has been feeling an emptiness in her life. She says that she has turned back to her
family and religious beliefs. She
is planning on a long retreat this winter to help find her spirital center and
renew herself.. This contest, she
says, will be the first step for her long winter’s meditations and spirital
journey. . Don’t worry, folks, she
promises that she will be ready for next season in the spring, just with a few
Daniel Hopp is the hot dog champion, who downed a
recorded 57 hot dogs in 12 minutes this past summer. This white and orange rabbit
weights at a little under 125 pounds on his short stature of only 5 ft 5 inches
tall. But don’t let his small size
fool you, Daniel Hopp has been the hot dog champion for four years running. He has beating his own record every
year. Danny has want to expand
beyond hot dogs and has been training for this event since August. This is his first contest beyond the
Baseball Frank Competitions. He is
the most favored to win at this event.
This grey packing rhino is Iron Mike, who weights in at nearly 280 pounds
at 5 ‘8”. Mike Irons, the Bar-B-Q
champion, just finished over at the Chili-bowl eat-off. Yet, Mike says that he does have the
capacity for this event even after the chili-bowl event under his belt. Mike is an all around eating champion
and has won BBQ chicken to bake bean contests, yet he has not won a hot dog
contest since Daniel Hopp came on the eater circuit four years ago.. He is
pitching for a good fight here, today.
And of course, this elegant lady flamingo is Olla
Overland, who is owner of Olla’s Pie and Cakes co-sponsor of this year contest.
Olla Overland weights in at 250 pounds at 6’ 8”. Olla Overland says that she just likes
pies and wants to share them with people who truely enjoy them. It seems to me, that the old girl just
wants to eat her own pies without feeling guilty about it.
And, we, also, want to welcome all our other contestants
and wish everyone gut-busting good luck, and good eating. Now, ladies and gentle
furs dig into your pies.
As they get started, I will tell you about the Chili-Bowl Eat-Off, which
was just held here.
Now, it was just bad luck for Mike.
An amature bassethound managed to dump a whole 30 gallon pot of red-hot
Abby Chili down his own throat in under a minute and keep it all down. That
greed dog should have drowned, when he try to serve himself from the pot,
slipped and spilled the whole pot down his own face. Yet, when he managed to
keep it all that down for 10 minutes, he was declare the winner, before he ran
to the restroom. His wife
expected the trophy for him since still stuck in the toilet, and she said she
was really going to give it to him.
And we had an exciting start with Hot Dog Daniel taking the lead early in
this pie contest with a record of thirty pies in less than 12 minutes. But he
has been slowing down since, as our own
Daisy Duke, Miss Honey has held a slow steady pace at about 1 pie per a
minute. She has just pass Iron
Mike’s total of 27 pies. As we reach the 30th pie mark for Miss Honey, we
have… Oh no, Mike, who has been
trying to catch up to Daniel with burst of a eating frenzy, has made a fatal
error and is choking. No, No, Aw!
he has just barfed all over Mrs. Overland.
Poor old girl has fainted.
That Chili and blueberry smell is just too much for some of our other
contestants as well and many have left their tables and their pies. The judges have rule that anyone who has
not throw up may re-enter the contest, but where doesn’t seem to be many takers,
there. As the clean-up crew works
as fast they can, we’ll see, how the revived Mrs. Overland takes this news,
*Sniff* No NO more chili! no
Whoa, who would have thought the old girl could run that fast on a full
stomach. Yet, what focus, Miss Honey and Daniel have, they continue to stuff
themselves during this whole disaster. The count is now, Danny 45 and Miss Honey
We have only 4 semi-finalist, who made the 60 pies cut. Miss Honey has
eaten her 60th pie and impatiently awaits the next round, while Daniel struggles
to finish his 60th pie. Daniel who
showed such promise in the beginning, is now paying a high price for his speedy
start. And, he has now just finished his 60th pie and will be allowed a 10
minute break as the judges verify the counts and prepare for the next
The rules of the final rounds are:
The second round is 10 more pies and no resting between pies but you have
a choice of favors. Finalists must finish with 5 minutes of the leader’s
The third round is 20 more pies; no resting, random favors and you must
finish your pies within 2 minutes of leader time.
The final Round is …Oh, what ……. Oh Mrs Olla has return.
She has change the final round’s rules to be just a race for the most
pies eaten to win.
Mrs Olla shouts “We have
enough pies, so you can eat until you pass-out or quit.”
have it. Eat as much as you can without exploding. Oh what excitement, if these two, Miss Honey and Danny, can
push themselves into final round.
Well, this Glutton contest was been a battle of wills and wits, as well
as bellies.. Daniel’s speed trick
had fooled quite a few into eating too fast for their intake tolerance, which
forced them to drop out. Yet, Miss Honey’s slow and standy pace is working out
better as Danny’s endurance continues to dwindle. The poor boy has been stuggling since
the second round.
We are now at the 90th pie mark and the end of round three. Danny stuggling slowly to complete his
90th pie. And Miss Honey has just
finished licking her 89th pie plate
clean, as she reachs for her 90th pie.
She has licked clean every one of her plates in the second and third
rounds, teasing and intimating Danny with every pie along the way.
The kitchen crew is now readying the pie pile for the last round.. This pile has all the leftover of pies
from the other contestants, and at the last count is over 550 pies. Each contestants will be on opposite
sides of the pile and will eating
their way to the middle. The
empty pie plates from each will be removed and counted, but each eater must grab
their own pies from the pile. The one with the most empty plates will be the
Oh, no but poor Danny does not look like he can’t continue… Oh wait, what
sportmanship, Miss Honey is hugging him and give him good pep-talk. Or
Maybe, she’s kissing him or is she just licking the pie off his
face?..but yes, yes, he is showing signs of life, and they are ready to start
the final round.
And now, they are off and eating …..Miss Honey is eating at …Can you
believe it? …She has managed to increased her pace after 90 pies! And Yes, Daniel seems to have found his
second wind, and is back to his jaw-dropping speed of 2 pies per min. It looks like the only thing that will
stopping these two will be their immovability to get more pies.
Yet, Miss Honey seem to have a plan for that as she digs
in and under the pie pile, Oh Oh, she is near the center the pile and is turning
over on to her back. The pies are
now just falling into her waiting mouth.
Danny has a different approach as he eats and forces his way to the top
of the pile. His growing belly is
pushing his face into the pile as he eat his way down.. Each of them are still throwing empty
pies plates out of the pile. The
count is now 160-150 pies with Danny in the lead and both are not slowing
“Oh oh Funny bunny, Would you like some rhubarb pie?” coots Miss
“Honey Bear, You know I can’t do it any more?” protests over stuff
“but you love Rhubarb pie, I’ll even warm it for you.”
“I .. I.. I.. “
”Ah Come’n FunnnyBuunny! It is on your favorite plate.
Do it for me.”
Ohohoho Buuuuuuurp burp burp Guuuuurp.
Hee heee heee “ oh h haha Oh
Funny bunny. Come get your pie and be sure to lick the plate surp surp “Oh oh yes lick it up. lick my
plates oh clean” surp surp surp
Oh Hey folks… Yes,. Yes, they are still at it after 4hours. The rest of
the judges and the crowd have left for the Skylight Ballroom and the official
counting has stopped at 317 to 325, which a load of crock. So, what if they
burped or that them are now, feed each other? I tell ya…What…. What happened you
Okay, After the 315th pie mark, Danny starts complaining he going to
exploded. So, after Mike’s mishap,
everyone scattered. Poor
Danny kept sucking more and more air into his lungs, and he got bigger and
bigger. Miss Honey, who can’t move
for all the pies she has eaten or the ones still pile on top of her, screams “
Oh, please don’t!”
Danny suddenly stopped, swallowed and then lets loose a great long belch
that literally deflated him into the pie pile …After a moment of dead silence,
Miss Honey starts laughing and laughing.
The crowd joined her, but soon
she couldn’t catch her breath as she hype-ventilates with more laughter.
With more and more air, her bust seemed to expand and expand beyond the limits
of her overstress top. As her
blouse tore apart, Miss Honey also burped the loudest belch ever. The burp resounded within the great hall
and deafing so many that only few could hear Miss Honey and Daniel
“oh oh dear, I think I hurt
myself.” Grasped Honey
“Ha Ha oh oh, that was a
good one, More pie?” laughed Danny
“why, yes please.. I have so much more room, now.” Excite Honey started
to eat from Danny’s hands.
After that, they traded belches for pies, and took turns feeding each
other. The judges call it at 317 to
325 in favor of Miss Honey. And
then eneryone left.
So, there you have it. One
of the greatest pie eating contest and the greatest chance of a light-weight
class eaters of breaking the record for the middle-weight class eating, reduced
to a burping contest. I’ll tell you…what a waste..I want a recount.!. Whiz---
“A good shoot, my Tummy Bunny.
I wish I could do that to some of the gossip reporters” shouts the stuff
“You just have to have some pies to throw at them, Honeybear. More Pie?”
“Yes please.” begged Honey
“Ah Miss Woodson, Miss Olla has sent 50 pie to your cabin –suite for
being a great pie lover, and she said that the prize money is going to your
charity. The manager says that your
cabin is ready, but warns that the Dragon’s Retreat cabin will not accessibility
after the next week or so. We will
keep the lights on and the water running to it, but there is no guaranty that
they will stay on during the winter, and we will not be able to get to you until
Says a young bellboy mouse.
“It does have a natural hot spring pool in its cave, right?” asks Miss
“ Yes, Miss, but I wouldn’t…” protests the bellboy
“It is Okay I understand the dangers and the isolation of the cabin. Just once the snow starts to melt and
you can’t reach me by phone. send
someone to checkup on us.”, states the golden bear.
“Us?” says a surprised bunny
“Sure, you welcome to stay, if you want. What do you say?” asks Miss Honey
“I got peach” offers the
stuff white rabbit.
“Oh Funny bunny, I love peach.” Says his adoring honeybear
“I got two peaches for my Georgia peach, but she has to ask ‘nicely’ for
them” demands Dan
“Pburetty Buruplease.” burps Honey
“That’s my girl,”* Burp ach up.*” Oh excuse me.” belches her tubby
“Here, you need more Mulberry”,says Honey as she offer him another pie.
“Aw, Thank you, my Honeybear.
Hey, I know, I am tried, but you promise me, a roll in the hay with you,
at the end of three round.”, reminds Danny
“TeeHee Sure, Anything for you, my Funny Tummy Bunny… just be sure bring
pie” giggles the stuff starlet.
As the forklift with sofa takes both Pie-lovers out the back door of the